今期公教報,讀到一篇署名「華仔」的文章,題為〈老有所養〉,不無感觸。
文章的作者認為:新編的《天主教教理》對「孝敬父母」這條誡命的闡釋,可以看到西方文化(特別是英美社會)所假定的「婚姻是一個新家庭的開始......成年子女和父母的關係疏離」情況:
......教理要求父母對子女的責任,基本上遠超過子女對父母所盡的義務。除對父母應有的尊敬外,教理只要求子女在成年後,應盡力之所能,在父母的老年、患病及孤苦窮困時,提供物質和精神上的援助。
小弟認為,若單單從《天主教教理》的扼要論述,而歸納出整個西方社會的文化態度、進而引導出「教理對孝敬父母的要求低於本地傳統文化的要求」,甚至「基督徒信仰對孝敬父母的標準,低於中國傳統文化的標準」的結論,則有可能以偏蓋全了。
首先我們應該明白,《天主教教理》的內容雖然極其豐富和準確,但它作為一部受限於篇幅的書,不可能事事專精、處處詳細。作為普世教會的信仰準繩,它是合格的。但我們亦需要從整個教會的傳統認知中,去閱讀當中的內容。
例如,當我們查閱這部要理的前身《
羅馬要理》(
Catechismus Romanus),則可發現它對「應如何孝敬父母」的闡述:
Manner Of Honouring Parents
The honour which children are commanded to pay to their parents should be the spontaneous offering of sincere and dutiful love. This is nothing more than their due, since for love of us, they shrink from no labor, no exertion, no danger. Their highest pleasure it is to feel that they are loved by their children, the dearest objects of their affection. Joseph, when he enjoyed in Egypt the highest station and the most ample power after the king himself, received with honour his father, who had come into Egypt. Solomon rose to meet his mother as she approached; and having paid her respect, placed her on a royal throne on his right hand.
We also owe to our parents other duties of respect, such as to supplicate God in their behalf, that they may lead prosperous and happy lives, beloved and esteemed by all who know them, and most pleasing in the sight of God and of the Saints in heaven.
We also honour them by submission to their wishes and inclinations. My son, says Solomon, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother; that grace may be added to thy head, and a chain of gold to thy neck. Of the same kind are the exhortations of St. Paul. Children, he says, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is just; and also, children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. (This doctrine) is confirmed by the example of the holiest men. Isaac, when bound for sacrifice by his father, meekly and uncomplainingly obeyed; and the Rechabites, not to depart from the counsel of their father, always abstained from wine.
We also honour our parents by the imitation of their good example; for, to seek to resemble closely anyone is the highest mark of esteem towards him. We also honour them when we not only ask, but follow their advice.
Again we honour our parents when we relieve their necessities, supplying them with necessary food and clothing according to these words of Christ, who, when reproving the impiety of the Pharisees, said: Why do you also transgress the commandments of God because of your traditions? For God said: "Honour thy father and thy mother," and "He that shall curse father or mother let him die the death." But you say: "Whosoever shall say to his father or mother, The gift whatsoever proceedeth from me, shall profit thee." And he shall not honour his father or his mother; and you have made void the commandment of God for your tradition.
But if at all times it is our duty to honour our parents, this duty becomes still more imperative when they are visited by severe illness. We should then see to it that they do not neglect confession and the other Sacraments which every Christian should receive at the approach of death. We should also see that pious and religious persons visit them frequently to strengthen their weakness, assist them by their counsel, and animate them to the hope of immortality, that having risen above the concerns of this world, they may fix their thoughts entirely on God. Thus blessed with the sublime virtues of faith, hope and charity, and fortified by the helps of religion, they will not only look at death without fear, since it is necessary, but will even welcome it, as it hastens their entrance into eternity.
Finally, we honour our parents, even after their death, by attending their funerals, procuring for them suitable obsequies and burial, having due suffrages and anniversary Masses offered for them, and faithfully executing their last wills.
由此可見,西方教會對「孝敬父母」的要求,不可貿然說是比我國傳統文化所要求為低。
另一方面,我們亦須留意基督信仰對「孝敬父母」的要求,乃從屬且次於對天主的欽崇。這種觀點,對我國古代「君權」和「父權」的膨脹和專制傾向,具有制衡作用。
不過小弟亦十分認同華仔的思路:信仰本地化的空間和處境。
我所想到的,是在禮儀中「為父母」祈禱的空間。
現時《羅馬彌撒經書》,不論新禮舊禮,均有為「恩人」、「朋友」的禱文,但偏偏就沒有「為在世的父母」的彌撒經文。為已亡的父母是有的,但我們不是更應該趁他們在生時,為他們多獻幾台彌撒、為他們祈禱嗎?
反而聖公會的《
公禱書》就有一篇為父母(
Pro parentibus)的祈禱文,很值得我們參考--
For the parents
Almighty God, giver of life and love, bless N. and N. Grant them wisdom and devotion in the ordering of their common life, that each may be to the other a strength in need, a counselor in perplexity, a comfort in sorrow, and a companion in joy. And so knit their wills together in your will and their spirits in your Spirit, that they may live together in love and peace all the days of their life; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.