善待長上

數日前讀一本靈修書，當中提及一種「判斷長上」的心態，為自己而言，很值得引以為誡：

Be patient with your superiors

Superiors are often the objects of faultfinding. Submission to authority in some way is a necessary duty of every human creature. No one can escape obedience. This is the plan God set up for the world, that He would delegate His divine authority to parents and other legitimate human superiors. He Himself gave an outstanding example of submission to that authority, for St. Luke says He "was obedient to them," (Luke 2:51) meaning His mother and foster-father in the natural order of things.

Faults and defects are bound to appear in human instruments; hence, faults are to be found in superiors. A position of authority can sometimes bring into prominence the faults of human nature. Superiors, even with the best of intentions, will manifest certain defects. For instance, a superior can be the overbearing type, too obviously conscious of his position, easily aroused to impatience and anger, indifferent to the needs and complaints of those subject to them, and too insistent on trivialities. Some of these faults will inevitably produce a certain amount of irritation and friction.

God does not will the faults of superiors, but He does want you to be kind in judging them. He set up His plan of delegated authority knowning that faults would be found. In a sense, He uses those faults, and He desires those who are under authority to be purified by them. Superiors have an obligation to work against their faults, especially because of the consequences of their failure to do so.

To supernaturalize your obedience is to see God's Providence even in the faults of your superiors, and to practice devotion to duty and charity and patience in spite of these faults.

(Lawrence G. Lovasik, The Hidden Power of Kindness, p. 47-48)

這段文章，的確令我記起不少往事。不論在家庭、工作和教會生活中，我們都要認真地處理自己和「長輩」、「上司」、「領袖」和「神長」間的關係。

很多時，自己往往會對他們寄予很高很大的期望，然而期望愈大，難免亦導致失望。這一點，尤其表現於我們特別重視的事項－－為何在這些事情上，他們不肯服從「真理」？

許多時，事端往往與「誰是『真理』的詮釋者和代言人」的問題有關。在這問題上，縱然我們認同「長上」或「權威」的決策不一定正確，但為處事而言，則往往最「便利」和「實際」。

亦有些時候，即使事理明顯，但「人為」的因素，導致「真理」未能在此時、此地、此人身上落實。問題是在於：即使在這情況下，與其「據理力爭」，反而應否對「人」的有限和軟弱，抱多一點體貼和包容的態度，並接受他們、甚至制度性的「未能在此刻完全皈依」的事實？我自己又是否在另一意義下，處身於相似的境況中？

又很多時，這些「真理」往往並不是甚麼大是大非的關節事項，而只是近乎雞蛋裡挑骨頭的「口味」和「感覺」而矣！

想深一層，若能對他們的難處和挑戰多些諒解和包容，則群體的生活亦可多點和諧、少些衝突。